How These Days Passed - 7

I don't know how these days are passing. Too fast I guess. I have been thinking about you all the time. Sometimes, when it snows at night, I can't help looking out at the road, wondering how you would come home. Just like the time, when you worked at Rite Aid and came home late, I used to stay up late and looking at road, where Chapin Parkway crossed 164 Street. Until I saw your slow and luxurious foot steps on the snowy road, I couldn't go to sleep. I still look out for you.

Sometimes, when I come home from work and see a bike in the drive way, my heart stops for a second thinking that you came home. Oh, its so hard to think about you and not to think about you. Its been almost a year that you left us, it feels like yesterday. When I count the months, 12 months have passed, I can't believe it. Has it been that long? All the time, I feel your very presence in and out the house. Those who say you are not with us, I don't believe them. Its not possible. You are here. Right here, in front of me. Sometimes, by my side all the time. How some people can leave the world but can still be so much with us.

To be Cont'd...


I didn't expect to live for 12 months. But 12 months have passed, and I'm still breathing. I think God has a reason for keeping me alive. But I couldn't really do anything, not for you, not for myself, or not for others. I still couldn't get the bike lane for you. I still couldn't put the man, who murdered you, behind bars. I heard that it was an accident. Why doesn't someone question the man how could he hit someone accidentally when there was so much room between the parked truck and his lane?

I look at your photos from last year. You are eating a chocolate cake that I baked for your birthday. Later I gave you the rest of the cake, you put it in the refrigerator and the chocolate frosting hardened, it was soft when I fed you a piece at the park on that hot summer day. You loved it with the crunchy topping and you told me," Ma, the cake was so good!"

So many good memories with you, my son. I wish I had you with me and we could talk some more.